Underneath the Lakes

Life under the lakes, away from the predacious phantom hounds that lurk in the back alleys of the G20 Summit section in Toronto, may not be as golden and gorgeous as the backcountry of Canada on the north shore of those same lakes, but leave it to Hoyle and I (of Hoyle,Tanner) to make a good time out of any time granted us. After being turned around by stiff-lipped Canadian customs guards, we drove back onto good ol’ American soil and headed south through Amish farmland until we rolled into Syracuse and laid our lowly heads down for the night. With the ‘Cuse behind us, and after a nice shower in a wonderfully abandoned hostel, we meandered through the rest of New York state and finally pointed our bug-stained grill towards the West. Later that day we reached the Buff’ (Buffalo) and lingered a mere moment gazing over the mighty maw of Niagara Falls, mingling with the cast of international sightseers that spend hours giggling in various languages and snapping more pictures of themselves standing in front of the falls than is necessary. For a couple of guys who’ve spent the majority of this trip in the quiet solitude of some of the east coast’s greatest wildernesses, sights like Niagara Falls, with so many crowded human bodies ogling the wonder of nature, wear on us quickly. After avoiding a few more Canadian border crosses poorly recommended to us by our GPS, we finally managed to flee the area and be on our way.

Next came Detroit – one of the saddest, most forlorn cities these two travelers have ever encountered. Our good friend, Brock Laborde, there shooting a movie for a couple of months, shared his upscale hotel room (minus a microwave) with us for the night. After being caught in a massive downpour and taking shelter in a doorway from lightening strikes exploding on the tops of the skyscrapers around us, we wandered the downtown scene in search of a place to get a few drinks. We forgot that this was Detroit. At times, it felt like the three of us were the only souls walking those streets. The place was a ghost town. There was not a single bar or club open in the midst of that mighty downtown area. Not a single one. If New York was the liveliest metropolis we’ve ever had the chance to play around in, Detroit was the most abandoned and left behind. Other than the corner market where the most wonderful little twinks were discovered, the only other facility open that night was the MGM Grand casino. Pockets full of poptarts and winnings on the slot machines, we drank a few mixed drinks and ended the night watching what might be the next best thing to come out of Comedy Central. Time will tell. The next morning B fed us breakfast on the top floor of the hotel and then kicked us out to prepare himself for a night with the ever popular band, We Landed on the Moon. 

Chicago came next and was a blur. We had time to pick up a deep-dish pizza and that was all. With ten pounds of dough, cheese, peps and sausage on the dashboard, we cursed through a few more tollbooths and slipped into Wisconsin. Another fire in another state park outside of Madison. Devil’s Lake State Park. Four out of six beers from a six-pack (the other two were stolen in the night off of our picnic table by beer bandits). In the morning Hoyle and I swam a mile out to some jumbled boulders on the side of a mountain in some of the most attractive water we’ve yet had the chance to dip in. Lounging on the shore we got the call that a friend of ours’ was trapped in the Chicago O’Hare airport due to a nasty layover, so instead of carrying on north, we turned back around and went to the rescue. 

And now, as I write this, the three of us, plus Cedars, are heading north again to Minneapolis in yet another rainstorm. The deep-dish, after 24 hours, has finally been finished. Tonight, we enjoy the flavors of another big city. I think we’ll be in Minnesota for a while. There are many wonders in this state to partake in, and there will be much tale to tell when it is all over. Both Hoyle and I are reaching the limits of our pre-planned budget, and the time to start heading south is nearing. But not yet.